Sunday, November 23, 2014

Looking Back On My Injury

          This week marks the anniversary of my birth, but this time it's a little different from the previous years. On the night I turned 26 many of my thoughts were filled with the tragic accident that changed my life forever. On November 18, 2013 a piece of glass severed my leg down to the bone.  It has been a year since the incident and oh how my life has changed. This is my story...

           Now I don't want to go into too many details but, in the middle of the night (in the dark) I bumped a poorly placed picture frame on the wall. Upon trying to regain my balance after stumbling I stepped and landed on a perfectly angled piece of glass that severed my leg.  I went to the hospital and waited over 12 hours to have a orthopedic surgeon perform surgery on me.  Once I came too and the doctor came in to explain what was going on I got the news about the damage.

(My OP-report)
Postoperative Diagnoses:
1-  Right calf laceration
2-  Right Achilles tendon laceration
3-  Right perineal tendon, peroneus longus and brevis tendon lacerations

The doctor told me they also found pieces of glass stuck in my leg which were removed.  The doctor was very straightforward with me and explained that he wasn't sure how things would turn out in the long run, but he said I would be very lucky if I ever walked normal again. I stayed that night in the hospital and went home the next day.  It was one of the most agonizing "sleep overs" of my life. No amount of pain medication could ease my suffering and the more they gave me the sicker it made me feel.

          The months following the accident were uneventful because I couldn't move very much due to  the pain or because I fatigued easily, but it was eventful in the sense that I didn't know what was going to happen with my recovery.  I went through many episodes of anime, doctor visits, multiple casts and LOTS of physical therapy.  They initially cast my leg in a pointed toe position to allow my tendons to heal easily.  However, this made bringing my foot/ankle back to a normal position extremely difficult.  So difficult that a year later I am still having trouble with the way everything has fused back together. If I sit for too long or when I wake in the mornings I walk "zombie status" until it warms up.  The only difference I have noticed in that respect is that more recently my recovery time during "zombie mode" has improved immensely.

         So I bet your wondering how everything turned out?  Well I learned to walk again and yes I had a nice limp for a while, but eventually I learned to walk normal! At around three months post surgery I got a walking boot and started moving around without crutches.  I also started physical therapy at this time and worked my butt off for months.  Side note: I have a manual car so learning how to drive stick shift again was super nerve-racking and difficult! At about five months I was able to walk pretty well and "graduated" from therapy.  Also I started to do auto belay at my local rock climbing gym around this time. After about a month of that I started bouldering easy stuff and routes that weren't too high. Once I became a little more comfortable I started pushing myself on harder routes, but still tried to stay on the ones that didn't go as high.  As I started noticing the defects in my climbing I began doing more strengthening exercises with a new physical therapist again until about a week ago.  My climbing ability is somewhat stifled due to the fact that my injured leg can't handle heel hooks or when it's required to do big moves off little toe holds since the functionality in my toes hasn't fully returned. Also my leg won't tolerate aggressive shoes because my nerves are too sensitive thus I wear two different shoes. On my good leg I wear Dragons and on the other I wear my Anasazis that are sized a little too big.  This actually surprises lots of climbers and they seem to always ask me why.  Sometimes I feel like they just mention it to me because they think it's a fashion statement haha.

        Fast forwarding to a year post surgery here are some specifics.  Pros-- I now can hike, run on any type of surface with no pain, climb decently well, stand on one leg and do calf raises, walk on the tips of my toes, and other physically demanding activities. I know a lot of these things seem easy to people, but trust me when you sever as many tendons and muscles as I did it is extremely hard and frustrating to learn how to do it all again. Cons-- I still don't have the best range of motion in comparison to my other leg, my toes don't have full functionality, can't feel portions of my leg/foot and not sure when/if the feeling will return,  the parts of my foot I can feel are super sensitive and uncomfortable, I have nerve damage that is painful and frustrating to deal with on a daily bases. However, when I put it into perspective the cons are somewhat trivial since the pros seem to overshadow them tenfold.

        While I am extremely grateful to my family for their help, after I got better they told me that I was what they like to call "a success story" because the doctor told them (while I was still asleep after surgery) that I would probably never walk normal again and that athletics most likely were going to be out of the question.  My family chose to keep this from me and while I understand their reasoning I somewhat resent the fact that they didn't tell me.  Yes, they were protecting my sanity, but withholding something like that just seems, cruel.  On the other hand if I would have known would I have recovered as well as I did? Or would I have recovered even better?  These are questions I have thought about more than just a few times. Either way I am grateful for their love/support because I know they wanted to do what was best and I wouldn't be where I am today without their help.  I don't know how or if I will ever be able to repay them.

          It has been a year now and I am able to have a normal life and experience all the things that I used to enjoy! If I could go back of course I would not wish for it to happen again, but it did give me many positive things other than physical activity.  I feel that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to and no task is too big.  I have gained confidence in myself and a more appreciative outlook on life and the things that I have accomplished thus far.  Life has become this big world of opportunity and I would love to share my experiences and what I have learned so that others can benefit from it.  Many people don't know what it's like to feel genuine depression and uncertainty, but I promise just keeping a reasonable outlook on life can make all the difference.  After all, everything is about perspective. Nothing matters or doesn't matter unless you give it weight.  My leg could have turned out so much worse, but it hasn't and hopefully it never will.

          If anyone has any questions don't hesitate to ask! I hope this can help someone in need of a little push or a better perspective.  Life turned out great and I am a better person because of all the hardships I've had to face.  I've attached a few pictures taken by friends or myself below to mark my progression. Enjoy!



Firs look at the damage (about 2 weeks after surgery)

Playing with my puppy
First time walking without the support of my boot

Finally scab-free

Jumping off a cliff after some deep water soloing

Doing a bicycle move on my new project

Doing a painful heel hook move

Trying to reach for a hold with my foot way out right.





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